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A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy, "Is it true what they say about men with big feet?"
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't ya'll come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?" The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before." The woman replied, "Don't be flattered . . .take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.
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Now that's a damn worthy ressurection of this joke thread! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
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*takes a Bow*
Thank you [img]smile.gif[/img]
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It's going to be tough to top that one...especially if you're taking bows this early in your show, man... [img]graemlins/whatever.gif[/img]
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heh, yee of little faith.
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*the crowd hushes as they await the next utterance...* [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him.
God replied, "A million years to me is just like a single second to you."
The young man asked God what a million dollars was to him.
God replied, "A million dollars to me is just like a single penny to you."
Then the young man got his courage up and asked, "God, could I have one of your pennies?"
God smiled and replied, "Certainly, just a second."
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He's here all week folks! Tip your waitstaff! Try the veal! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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ok ok, this next one is one i think your gonna like.....don't forget to tip(by tip I mean money in the jar. not knocking it over, ERIS) my jar BTW, thanks.
A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Ma'am, have you ever slept with a black man?" She said, "Well, yes, but only once." "Once is all it takes" he replied. Then the torso appeared and it was yellow. "Ma'am, have you ever slept with an Asian man?" the doctor asked. "Well, yes" she said, "but only once." "Once is all it takes," he said. When the legs appeared they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Native American and she said, "only once," and he replied that that was all it took. Then the doctor held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. "Oh, thank God," she exclaimed "at least it doesn't bark!"
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*steals Ski's thunder* [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car.
Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they
were cruising along, they came to an intersection.
The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself,"I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the light Was red, and again they went right through.
This time, the passenger was almost sure that the
light had been red, But was also concerned that she might be seeing things.
She was Getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they blew right through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred!
Did you know that You ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh Sh!t! Am I driving?"
